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stickhorse_24

How to get the wife on board with prepping?

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So here's the situation. I just got home a month ago from a deployment to Iraq and while deployed I started to get serious about prepping. I have always been into camping, backpacking and wilderness survival, but had never really felt the need to take it any further than just some basic knowledge and skills practiced at the campsite. But with the way the economy has been and is headed, the natural disasters in recent history ( i just mean within the last decade), and several other reasons I'm sure you would all understand, I made the decision to get more serious. Plus I want to have a little piece of mind that my wife and kids will be better prepared the next time I deploy. I have started to get the BOBs together, have purchased a few "grid down" sustainment items (small propane stove, water cans, and such) and have stepped up my bushcraft knowledge and skills. The wife and I have had a few conversations about prepping and although she is willing to humor me I cant seem to really get her on board with the idea of having more than a weeks worth of food, water and all the other crap we need to survive in a SHTF/TEOTWAWKI situation. Especially when she thinks its just a post deployment "phase" I'm going through.

 

Luckily for me she wants to eventually get a small farm with an assortment of livestock and crops for our own sustainment but that is years in the future. Can anyone out there give me a few suggestions on how you brought your spouse into the prepping mindframe? Maybe offer up some reading material? She is a teacher so she loves to read and learn, it just has to make a good argument for her to change her stubborn opinions. LOL!! Any help would be appreciated.

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Hey Stickhorse first of all let me thank you for your service to our country...I am a 26 year army vet combat arms the whole time and most spent in the Cav.....Now here is a short story on how I got my spouse interested in prepping or I should say How she got interested in prepping....My wife and I plus our grandson live in upper east tennessee right next to the mountains and as you well know last april 2011 there were some really bad tarnado's came thru next to our house.....our house was not effected but only about 6 to 8 miles down the road people lost everything...some even lost there lives.......Well that night my wife was working, she is a RN at the local hospitol here and she just happen to be supervising in the ER that night.....when the high winds ripped thru the community and injuried people and EMS started showing up at the ER my wife said it looked like a war zone in the ER and we both know what that looks like. Before all this happened that night my wife was like your's she was just kinda going with the flow on my prepping and showing a very small interest in it......but after that night in april she has really gotten into prepping with me...she packed her own BOB...picked out her own knife, weapon, clothes and so on. And when I ask her what changed here mind...she told me that she had seen people that night was wasn't prepared for SHTF/TEOTWAWKI and that she wanted us to be. I don't know if I anwsered your question or not...but just sit your wife down and go thru some what if events and maybe she will see the light

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man, i dont know what to tell you here. i thought mine was begining to get on board but i was wrong.

she thinks there is no evidence that there can or ever will be a situation. she is def one to be a victum in just about any situation. she just doesnt have the mindset for any of it. hell, the funny part is she actually thinks this is one of those gloom and doom websites lol.

she wont take a moment to even explore it to see what its about. she thinks websites like this cause depression lol. ive tried and tried to tell her differently. so guys, i dont know what to say, i live with one who is ready to be "the victum" at any given moment should the opportunity arise/

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@Ruger92

 

I do know about the tornado events that happened. I hope your community has begun to recover. I remember hearing about all of that on the news. I swear I thought it was a "Day After Tomorrow" type event going on for a while there. I am glad your wife learned from that situation just saddened that it took something like that to wake her up. But that is the case with so many people I have noticed. Thanks for your, or should I say your wife's story. I will use it as an example the next conversation I have with mine.

 

Also, What MOS? Stationed at Hood? I'm a Sniper in the Cav at Hood. Small world, even smaller Army. LOL

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i live with one who is ready to be "the victum" at any given moment should the opportunity arise/

 

I know the feeling Rick. My wife also works at the local hospital and her only concern is that a tornado or blizzard will hit but we have plenty food for that event. Other things have come up and she now is starting to come around, but it's very slow and she still won't even consider a BOB.

Stick, Thanks for serving. I hope your wife comes around. I even tried using the lessons from Iraq; societal collapse and violence to sway my wife but she says the US won't sink to that level.

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@ricksconnected

 

I thought mine was a little more serious than she is. I wouldnt say that mine is a victim, just not a prepper. She does have great ideas when she decides to take a question seriously, and she does know more than I would have given her credit for, she just doesnt really think it will ever happen. If SHTF she could definitely give a good effort at surviving, it would just be that much harder on her. Hopefully we can get our respective spouses on board. Maybe then it will be easier to buy some of the cool toys. Probably not but we can always hope.

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I know the feeling Rick. My wife also works at the local hospital and her only concern is that a tornado or blizzard will hit but we have plenty food for that event. Other things have come up and she now is starting to come around, but it's very slow and she still won't even consider a BOB.

Stick, Thanks for serving. I hope your wife comes around. I even tried using the lessons from Iraq; societal collapse and violence to sway my wife but she says the US won't sink to that level.

 

I tried using Iraq too. She said the same thing. LOL

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I tried using Iraq too. She said the same thing. LOL

 

Funny how eyewitness testimony only works if they get to use it...lol. There are several lessons from Iraq for preppers; 1) the US gov't sucks at rebuilding (military did great until the state dept got involved) 2) People will revert to inhuman actions as soon as they think they can get by with it (WROL) 3) gangs/warlords will commit violence to try and gain the power and not care how many women and kids they kill 4) our intel organization(s) only want intel that fits their ideas and cements their authority, not necessarily what is true or protects Americans; so just because they don't "publish" it, doesn't mean it won't happen.

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reg5, stick,

what are we gonna do with'em guys? waiting to see if anybody else has suggestions.

yep i choose the word "victim" with her. i tell her if shes not prepaired shes a victim waiting for a

disaster to happen.

 

maybe i should try the tough love approach. LOL

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Just from my own experience, sometimes it really takes a crisis (simple or tragic) to get one on board. For my wife and me it was loosing power for almost 6 days (almost 7 years ago now), for us to realize that what we needed to be doing just made sense. She never had a problem with it, but never really embraced it right off the bat. It didn't take long, however.

 

I grew up with it. She didn't, but she was ALWAYS an outdoors kinda girl, so it wasn't too much of a stretch for her.

 

You may find it helpful to explain to her why you feel it's necessary to be prepared. I wouldn't use any of the doom and gloom (end of the world) examples, but I would use things like Katrina, Joplin etc. as a stepping stone to help her along. Explain that the reason behind being prepared is out of love and concern for her and your family. Basically using common sense to explain your reasons.

 

I think the biggest thing is to not push them into it. Nothing is going to make them turn against it quicker than being forced into it, or arguing about it.

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All sounds too familiar guys. Having just started prepping back in Dec, We've had several arguements. I've been called paranoid and compulsive. I just move on. She's just gonna have to take orders when SHTF. HA! That'll be a first.

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maybe i should try the tough love approach. LOL

 

thing is, mine is smart, too smart. she rests her heart on science, and not actual events,experience,

history, or whatever. if science cant prove it then it doesnt exist type BS.

oh man do i have problems in other areas with her on that too. she just doesnt believe that anything can happen here like it has/is/does anywhere else in the world. 9/11 was just a "one time thing" and doesnt prove anything about whats is actually possible here in the USA. she says that there are no signs whatsoever that our economy is headed towards a collapse, or that anything else is close to happening either.

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It seems like a lot of them are the same. Mine thinks I'm a doom and gloomer too. Even the hurricane that knocked power out for five days this past Aug wasn't enough. Part of the prob I think was her and my daughter were able to leave after 2 days. I stayed behind because of our dog. thank God I have always believed in being somewhat prepared. Although nowhere near where I want to be. But she didn't see the full aftremath. Stores around me completely out of water propane for the smal camp stoves, lanterns, batteries, etc. It was a big eye opener for me too how little supplies most stores really have after an emergency. Shes letting me run with it as long as I don't go too crazy but shes not really getting involved either. My biggest fear is what if I'm not around to protect her? She will have all the books and gear but no knowledge to use them. When SHTF it'll be "why didn't you prepare more?!" LOL Sometimes I think that they're all nuts!

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lol thats the exact same thing they think about us, except they have magazine's to talk about it and read up on what others are saying about us lol.

 

wait, im starting to think they really dont need us after all. considering 3/4 of the possible bad crap that can happen is by our own hand. wait a minute here......... they are out to get us. thats why they want to be able to go to the front,....... they want to keep an eye on us.

yep guys, we are screwed. they are on to us. ROFLMAO.

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Man my lady is the same, she humors me enough but doesn't like the thought of SHTF situations. I've been able to convince her about having extra food around the house and extra water but I do it under the guise of small scale regional problems (storms, power outages, etc). I can't get her to think about the bigger picture if something massive happens. My plans are to take a rainy saturday and sit down with her and talk about what she should keep in her car (i've already started to get some stuff for her car without her knowledge), and in the house and ready to go if she has to leave.

 

I don't really know how to get her into the spirit of it without something awful having to happen either though. In the mean time, I've got two of everything should it come down to it so she'll just have to carry the bag and learn from me.

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I think the biggest thing is to not push them into it. Nothing is going to make them turn against it quicker than being forced into it, or arguing about it.

 

i agree CCSir. nope we cant force them thats for sure. thing is, we care so much and just wish they would be more open to the possibilities, and possible "troubled roads ahead". they think that bad times for the worlds leading nation as a nation isnt possible. i wonder if the ladies we have on the forum here had the same issues with their husbands before they became a team at prepping?

i mean if your a family, you cant do it alone. as sure as you try to, when SHTF your gonna need to count on your other half and they are gonna fail and that wil make the situation much worse.

man its gotta be a team effort here in this type stuff. ok so she dont have to get all "tactical" on it with you/us but man "get in the damn boat here at least" ya know? it has me very worried.

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Guest survival101

Ok, guys. I'll be the first woman to give an answer. My folks forced me to tent camp as a kid, in the heat, in the Deep South, with all the humidity, bugs and miserable rations like powdered eggs, etc. They thought we would have "fun." We were taught some really simple skills, but we HATED it. It was miserable. Tent materials were awful then, and hot, and all we had for entertainment were paperbacks that our parents read. So, we were hot, hungry, sticky, itchy and grumpy. And, if I stay here, that would be the case when TSHTF. Maybe, just maybe, your ladies have had an experience like this too. But, keying in on what I read, at least one of the wives loves to learn. This is where your key is. There is so much info out there, and once you get a mind "lit up", it's hard to stop the fire. Whatever she shows an interest in learning with regard to survivalism, encourage that. And if she's competitive, she may just try to out-do you. We went through Hugo in South Carolina, and are practically next door neighbors to NOLA. Seeing what they went through, the smell, the heat, hunger, no water, some with no way to be rescued until it was too late. It was horrible. And the stories from the hospitals... the worst. If there is any way to access a documentary or historical news footage from this event, find it, and view it. While she's home. I cannot see how anyone can actually watch this unfold, see what happened, and not realize the need. Best of luck to all. And to our servicemen and women thank you. Hope your preparations bring you and your families closer.

Edited by survival101

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Thanks Janet. I remember that smelly canvas tent in the summer. LOL.

 

I have no doubt that the main issue with my wife, is having to listen to me as the messenger. If we knew a lady-prepper, that would be ideal. Do you hire- out? LOL. We've been married for over 30 years. A bit of contempt will build up over all those years. She's stubborn and that drives me nuts....it's a bad combo.

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like all you guys, my wife is not into prepping. i have explained the need to her and while she agrees, she has no interest or motivation to do it. whats different is that she doesnt think im nuts for doing it. so while she thinks its a good idea, she leaves it to me. i have the same problem with some of my family. so the way i am doing things is preparing as much as i can for all those who i care about. i have been developing instructions for them if/when tshtf. in different scenarios there are different plans. i cant provide food for all of them for any significant length but as a family we will make it work. in a serious scenario, the parents will no longer be in that advisor role. they are going to have to deal with listening to me for a change.

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Guys, survival101 has the right approach. There is an article on survival and your spouse.

http://survivalcache.com/family-survival-emergency-plan-emergency-preparedness/

I wrote a good part of it from experience with several friends' ladies. Obviously, sometimes the lady is the prepper and the husband isn't but my experience was written in the article.

 

Do not try to force or trick compliance. You will lose and may lose the marriage. Most folks have trouble facing the end of all things, especially if their children are involved. If you've watched the trash on TV it comes in two general flavors; preppers are insane or all things on the planet will die. It is rare to find sane people talking about sane preparations. The key with an unwilling spouse is to find out why she resists. It may be that she hates guns and violence. It may be that she is afraid for her family. The end of the world is overwhelming. My mother used to say if there was a nuclear war she didn't want to survive so she wouldn't prepare. Of course, being a child of the Depression, her pantry had about a year's worth of food in it but she WOULD NOT PREPARE! Words can be enemies as well as friends. The Mormon Pantry has a solid reason for its existence. In the early days of the church being able to live without depending on the outside was a necessary thing for them.

 

Again, don't talk about TEOTWAWKI. That is a non-starter. Talk about being out of work, that is a fear she understands and can appreciate you protecting her from. If you are in a city, talk about home invasions, another thing she can understand and be protected from. Talk to her about 'Little Lizzy'

http://www.handgunrepairshop.com/Why_do_you_carry_a_gun.html

My wife KNOWS that I will be involved and if she wants this ancient pelican to survive, I'd better be armed. Further she has my back. It is a great feeling to be checking out a problem (young girl screaming in front yard at night - innocent but it didn't sound that way) and when you turn to head back in the house she's there in the door with her 9mm with laser sight covering my back. She wants me safe, so she has her CHL; my back is covered.

 

Start little. TEOTWAWKI may not come in our lifetime or it may come slowly. No one I know wants to live in Mad Max World or even in the Sand Boxes (they may be worse). None of us want that for our ladies. If you want a partner in prepping, give her something to prep for that she can live through. My lady laughs at my cooking 'skills'. What I thought were good preps had none of the required condiments, oils, and additives to make it work. Her solar oven cooking is wonderful, fun and she enjoys the praise. The canning is a family event, a lot of fun, she's the center of attention and we all love the result. Don't try to push her faster than she is willing to go, just encourage the steps she's willing to take and be patient.

 

It will come when she sees that you are serious, not a nut job, and are pleased to let her join at her speed. Trying to force it or laughing at unreasonable assumptions just close the door. Her fears are real even if baseless. Be patient and things will get better. Just the not so humble opinion of a male talking about a lady's psychology.

Edited by Capt Bart

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