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awake

humor is a good survival tool-part 2

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****** 23 ADULT TRUTHS ******

 

1 Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

 

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

 

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

 

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

 

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

 

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

 

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

 

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

 

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.

 

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

 

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

 

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

 

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

 

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

 

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

 

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

 

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

 

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

 

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

 

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

 

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

 

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

 

23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it took only 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

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Where's the name of the boat? I want to see if it starts with a "T"...lol. With 2 crazies onboard, we definitely need to watch all the particulars...lmao.

 

well first we need to figure out if we are supose to face eachother or back to back to get this thing moving in a direction lol. anybody know how to drive this canoe? lol

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yeah hes always asleep when the fun happens. hes eventually gonna set by the computer day and night

awaiting the "goings on", bloodshot eyes and the last of his vacation days spent up. roflmao

LMFAO.... yeah, well I have to go back to the grind tomorrow, so be very intermittent for the next 3 weeks.

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I am when I have net access. I'm doing alot of research and carry many books with me for when I do not have net access.

 

You need a kindle - carries the book, no weight change for number of books - and internet when available. what's not to like.

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Now, now, children...... Do I need to get you a thread of your own for your playing? Mustn't pick on us poor guys who have to sit in offices and do other things!

 

Yep, I can relate to all of them as well .... Good list but it is not quite accurate - Number 12 hit about 90 seconds ago but it was for the whole year!

 

Love number 20 and my alarm clock is across the room so I can't comply with 22. Of course there have been mornings when my wife has to remind me to PUT DOWN the Colt. A 230 grain slug is NOT an APPROVED snooze alarm reset in our house. DRAT!

Edited by Capt Bart

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Now, now, children...... Do I need to get you a thread of your own for your playing? Mustn't pick on us poor guys who have to sit in offices and do other things!

 

Yep, I can relate to all of them as well .... Good list but it is quite accurate - Number 12 hit about 90 seconds ago but it was for the whole year!

 

Love number 20 and my alarm clock is across the room so I can't comply with 22. Of course there have been mornings when my wife has to remind me to PUT DOWN the Colt. A 230 grain slug is NOT an APPROVED snooze alarm reset in our house. DRAT!

damn capt...why can I see you doing this!?!?!? If I was single there would be no one to stop me from doing this.

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