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awake

humor is a good survival skill

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being a medic , or nurse, emt etc... a somewhat twisted sense of humor is almost a necessity..or you go crazy from the stress....love the definitions mat!..one more for ya-peanutbutterballs=phenobarbital :)

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being a medic , or nurse, emt etc... a somewhat twisted sense of humor is almost a necessity..or you go crazy from the stress....love the definitions mat!..one more for ya-peanutbutterballs=phenobarbital :)

 

Deffinately true rayz, came upon an iraqi civi that was shot in the head with a really weak 9 mil round. he was still alive but his brain was sticking out a lil bit. My first thought was "cool, wanna poke it". Ofc I didnt lol but thoughts like that keep you from goin crazy when you see the most messed up things.

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I mentioned on another thread that I know quite a few California jokes because we tend to get overrun with people fleeing that state and looking for the "simple" life in Oregon. This is one of my favorite jokes:

 

A Texan, a Californian, and an Oregonian are sitting around a campfire, sipping their favorite adult beverage and B.S.ing about what makes their state great. The boasting reaches its peak when the Texan tosses his bottle of fine tequila high in the air, pulls his handgun from its holster and shoots, shattering the bottle.

 

The other two yell, asking why he'd do something so wasteful. The Texan shrugs and says, "We've got plenty more where I come from."

 

Getting the idea, the Californian tosses his bottle of Napa Valley's best into the air, pulls out his gangland special AK-47, and blasts it to pieces. Again, his companions complain about the waste of good wine, but the Californian laughs, "There's plenty of great wine where I come from."

 

The Oregonian finishes his bottle of local microbrew, tosses it in the air, pulls out his hunting rifle, shoots the Californian, and catches the bottle before it can hit the ground. The Texan yells, "What the hell?"

 

The Oregonian explains, "We've got plenty of those where I come from, but the deposit on this bottle is worth 10 cents."

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INVESTING TIP

 

Just thought I'd pass along some advice my broker gave me today... I called him this morning and asked him what I should be investing in as I feel interest rates are going to be rising as they did during the late 70's early 80's.

 

So I told him I thought we ought to be looking to get out of bonds and finding a safe haven in which to invest.

 

I asked him, “Should we move to precious metals, foreign currency or what?”

 

He responded, "If the current President is in office much longer, canned goods, water and ammunition are probably your best bet."

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Ok so here gos..

A Texan was waiting in the Airport lounge in Western Canada,a local Indian walked in and they struck up a nice conversation about Tribes in the US.A Saidi walked in wearing full Garb..the conversation was pleasent and continued untill the Saudi said "We were few but we are NOW many and people will see our streangth"

The Canadan Indian said"we were Many but now are few"...

The Saudi keep talking about how HIS people will take over because of the Money they have and oil..

 

Well the Texan had about enough..He stood up and said a pleasent good bye to both,Than turned around and said /Son We Have not Played Cowboys and Saudis yet!!tiped his hat and left...

 

 

No offence ment to any Texan..realy

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K probably not this particular crowds cup of tea but I like to share things I enjoy so I thought a few links to this fellows work would be fun. His name is Reggie Watts and does stream of consciousness performance as well as other things, basically he uses a loop machine and makes everything up as he goes, good stuff. I found it hilarious to learn about his education and that he speaks two other languages fluently after I started watching this, what a goofball.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCQ8UOEj0M8

 

I know the video is not the greatest quality but anything from that particular special is hilarious.

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AFTER 35 YEARS OF MARRIAGE:

 

A husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the

Problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had

Ever had in the years they had been married.

 

On and on she went: Neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and

Unlovable, and entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.

 

Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the

Therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to

Stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her

Husband watched - with a raised eyebrow. The woman quietly sat

Down as though in a daze.

 

The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife

Needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?"

 

The husband replied, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and

Wednesdays, but on Fridays....I fish."

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