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The poor man's armorer...

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Ok I’m going off in a slightly different direction. There are several VERY useful weapons that I have not seen mentioned. They are older but nonetheless very effective tools in the right situations. There are a lot of others I'm sure but these will get the ball rolling.


First off and one of my personal favorites is the simple old fashioned blackjack. Some call them slaps and probably a bunch of other names. The fact is if you want to disable someone quickly and probably not kill them a blackjack is hard to beat. There are several types and I’ve made all of then at one time or another. A leather slap filled with lead shot is probably the most genteel but I’ve also made them with a 4 to 6 ounce lead bank sinker ot made a monkey fist knot around a lead sinker. Any of there things will put a man down for the count. It is simple and effective.


Another favorite is a set pf brass knuckles. If I’m going to get personal I want something that will give my punches more weight and protect my sensitive hands from hitting peoples hard heads. There is a new take off on these that I like a lot. They look like a stainless steel cats head necklace. When you put them on your hand the two ears stick out front, your two middle fingers go through the eyes and the cats jaw line rests against the base of your palm. If you get hit in the face with any of these you are HURT. My personal knucks have a raised diamond patern over each knuckle and will cut your face up. In the old days a lot of people carried “fighting” rings in their pocket and they were big and heavy. One on the middle finger of each hand adds a little something extra to a punch and if you learn to do it right you can easily hit the forehead above the eyes and blind your opponent with blood.


Another old school up close and personal weapon is the simple piano wire garrote. If you want to end someone quietly and have good upper body strength these things are fast and deadly as hell. The wire buries into the flesh and the victim has no chance to get any air. It is a VERY fast end too. The wire crushes the arteries and 7 seconds later the brain goes black.


You can carry all three of these in your hip pocket. You can disguise them so they don’t look at all dangerous and even so they are legal to carry. Rings are legal, wire or nylon cord is legal and a roll of nickels or just pocket change in a hankie will knock your lights OUT.


There ARE no dangerous weapons…there ARE dangerous people. NEVER be totally unarmed and always think ahead. KISS (Keep It Simple STUPID!) sometimes is the best of all because you can make it up on the SPOT if you have to.

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a roll of dimes in a sock makes a great blackjack and rings are legal nearly everywhere. Nonetheless, I have the real things and if I am fighting for my life I'll worry about the law if I survive. Nearly everything that is illegal has a perfectly legal but equally as good alternative. In prison a battery or lock in a sock is a common weapon. The cute little cat knucks can be worn on a necklace and hey, "I had NEVER imagined using them as a weapon officer!" A billy club is illegal too but I carry an aluminum baseball bat and a ball, My cold steel Blackthorn walking stick is BETTER than a billy club and legal as well.


The original purpose of this post was to get people thinking a little outside the box. I ASSUME that any weapon is illegal until proven differently and don't ever wave any of them, except my walking sticks, in front of a cops nose. Even with the walking sticks I'm double covered. I also have a handicap sticker for my car and two very nice stainless steel hip joins with a federal permit to have those as well. (Try going into a federal building sometime with 3 lbs of steel in your ass!!! I have an ID card with pictures, serial numbers and personal ID all on it just so I don't have a problem getting on a plane. I thought the idiot at the arch in St' Louis was going to have a coronary over my hips before I got the card. It is a national monument and is just like going to the airport!


A dagger is illegal in Texas too but if you will dull one side with a file it is suddenly NOT a dagger yet it still is just as effective as a pig sticker. Before the Castle law made it legal to carry a pistol in my car I carried a pistol gripped shotgun that was legal. Aswitch blade is illegal unless you make it so you have to start the motion by hand rather than just a pushed button. It then becomes and "assisted opening knife and legal.


I carry a piano wire in my hat band. It helps it hold its shape don't you know. If you look at most laws real close nearly ANYTHING can fall under one or the other if they want to stretch it. I guess my leatherman could be classified as illegal. I think the old law about carrying pliers from the old range wars is still on the books. People got killed over cutting fences until they passed a law making it illegal to carry pliers just randomly.


To tell the truth I don't worry about laws much at all. I mostly just try to keep a low profile and look harmless. Cops don't have the right to just search your car anymore and I don't lay my stuff on the dash even when it is legal. I got searched, rousted and patted down enough back when I was an outlaw motorcycle riding hippie! "I was also on the board of directors of my church and the youth counselor at the time as well. But as far as the cops were concerned though I was just an outlaw motorcycle riding dope smoking hippie. Looks can be deceiving. Now I'm an old codger with a bad limp that looks like (an am) someones PawPaw. The limp vanishes about the time the gun, knife, baton or lock in the sock comes out!

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