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ZM1995

I need some serious help

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I know that thier has been multiple articles on convincing family members to prep and bugging out with a group but so far I havent seen anything on this particular subject. the other day me my fiance and my soon to be sibling in laws were outside doing some shooting and it got me thinking about which ones would be usefull in a shtf situation and which ones would be a liability. So far in every scenario I have played in my head it seems that the only ones who could be usefull would be my fiance her brother. But I cannot decide what to do with the rest of them I cant in good mind leave them behind but I am afraid they would become a danger to me and the rest of the family and its not like i could threaten them with death into doing what i say when I say it to keep them alive so if someone could please tell me if theirs any options Im not seeing I would greatly appreciate it.

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Its an issue Im dealing with right now as well. Trying to figure out what to do with those that... might put me at risk.

 

How much 'onboard' are your fianceee and Brother in Law ? If they are more or less 'like minded' with you, then you dont have to find an answer to this all by yourself. IF they are onboard, consider consulting them for a method of approach and control for the others. Whichever way that conversation goes, the one thing that must happen is to get everyone on same page concerning OPSEC and a sense of urgency on the subject. If you can get everyone to at least understand how important it is. THen the rest of it should be easier to figure out... as the group developes.

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Start with fiances brother.....You have to start somewhere...

the others may come along in time..if not than Im a hard ass about it and beleve that they make there own decissions in life that they are accountable for..

 

Brother please understand in a shtf time,you must do whats best for her and your self..

jmo..

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matt you do make a very good point and i havent really discussed these things with her brother and ive only thing ive told her about is i know what to do in a shtf situation and ive explained to her all the uses for my ghb but i havent started on the planning part of it just yet mostly because we have alot of stress as it is and i dont want to add to the stress until i get some of our personal problems takin care of and i dont really worry about her brother putting us in danger im more worried about the weaker parts of the family but I will definetly try talking more to them once things start to cool off with our other issues

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Hi ZM,

 

I gotta go with Matt here; people make their own decisions, it's not your problem.

 

The truth is never popular and the more credible evidence there is to support it the less popular it is, and the less popular you will be announcing it to most others.

 

The warning signs for pending SHTF-type disasters are everywhere these days and our vulnerabilities to them painfully obvious with stacks of data and evidence from reputable scientific sources including the gov't. However, tell people you're a prepper, even those you care about and suddenly you get labeled a kook, an outcast.....EVEN IF YOUR JUST TRYING TO HELP THEM! Most people listen to the messages that make them the most comfortable and that's not the message that prepping gives.

 

Now, Tinderwolf also has a point regarding family and I also feel this way but being a hero is a thankless, extremely difficult and very unpopular job until after the fact....and sometime after the fact as well.....that's why there's so many empty seats in Valhalla, LOL!

 

Don't be a zealot. Try to ease folks you care about into the idea and try to hook up with some prepper folks in your area. No man is an island no matter how bad he wants to be one.

 

Those who don't listen well....you can lead the sheep to water but you can't make em' drink.

 

Wolfe

Edited by Dangerwolfe

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Good points.

"Now, Tinderwolf also has a point regarding family and I also feel this way but being a hero is a thankless, extremely difficult and very unpopular job until after the fact....and sometime after the fact as well.....that's why there's so many empty seats in Valhalla, LOL!

 

Don't be a zealot. Try to ease folks you care about into the idea and try to hook up with some prepper folks in your area. No man is an island no matter how bad he wants to be one. "

 

 

Im on the other side of the mountain in Wva so I understand the "Problems" of our area and the stress that is happening ..loss of jobs in the COAL fields..and other things happening in Familys..

 

So take a breath and Plann first,make the decissions that you Know are needed,when she is ready include her in the Plan..she may have great advice so be ready..

 

 

one day at a time.. you'll be alright..

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Navy, I thought of you when reading the post. If anyone can sympathize, it’s you!

 

ZM, you can lead a horse to water… If they don’t want to join you, move along. Sooner or later they will wake up and join you. Just keep prepping yourself and hopefully they will awaken before it’s too late.

 

I have the same problems with my family. My brother knows it’s coming but wants to go out fighting. And personally, I don’t want to be one of the ones he’s fighting. My sisters all say they are coming to my house. But what can I do? Kick my sisters out? So I am storing as many supplies as I can. Luckily we live near lakes so water is not that big of a problem.

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Here are some ideas:

 

  • Start with making the preps you can for yourself and your fiancee. It's sort of like the emergency instructions on an airplane, where you need to put on your OWN air mask first before helping others. Once you feel somewhat squared away, THEN you can start looking at ways to maybe start bringing in preps to support family members who may be more like deadweight.
  • Enlist help where you can. Sounds like the brother is a good option, and prepping together (and having a small group vs. going it solo/nearly solo) will likely be more successful in the long-term. You can bounce ideas off of each other, share resources, divide up who needs to learn which skills, collaborate on defense, etc. Plus he may be able to help you work on the rest of the family down the road.
  • Start small with people who aren't that interested in prepping. Don't talk about TEOTWAWKI, start out discussing actual disasters that have already struck/are likely to strike your area. For example, in Oregon, that might mean talking about floods, earthquakes, or forest fires, and the need to have a 72-hour kit (or BOB) if evacuation occurs, and thinking about how to bug in without electricity or water, if necessary. On the Gulf Coast, talk about hurricane preps. This way, you won't come across as "that crazy guy with all of those doomsday conspiracy theories" and instead will be seen as reasonable and pragmatic.
  • Build slowly. Once you have opened the dialogue and gotten some good feedback about, say, the possibility of natural disasters, NEXT start talking about your own BOB/72-hour kit and offer to work with them to get theirs set up. Send them to Ready.gov instead of a prepper website for info, since the info is still useful but won't be off-putting to them.
  • Only talk about major preps and TEOTWAWKI scenarios with people who are fully on-board and going to be part of your team. As was mentioned above, OPSEC is a big deal. You don't want the unprepared masses to know exactly what you've got, because then you are going to be a target when they get desperate.

 

Along those lines, choose your BOL wisely. If you think it's unlikely that the family will respond appropriately or quickly when TSHTF, that may actually wind up being an opportunity for you to get away without having to directly turn down family members who need help. It may sound a little cold hearted, but perhaps the real test of whether your family members can make it as part of your group will be whether they can actually get to your BOL on their own. Let them know the address of your retreat, but don't necessarily draw them a map. Maybe leave a few useful BOB-type supplies for them to use if they show up at your house after you and your fiancee have left, but again, don't fully equip them for every single need - for example, leave a little water and food in a sack with some basic tools/weapons, but not full camping regalia and firearms. If they are resourceful enough to make it to your location, then they may have what it takes to be productive members of your group. If they are not, well, at least you and your fiancee will know that you offered SOME help and didn't just abandon them without any hope of rescuing themselves. It's not a pretty thought, but when TSHTF, pretty is going to be shoved aside for practical in a hurry.

 

Good luck! Hope you are able to reduce or eliminate some of the stress you mentioned soon.

Edited by oregonchick
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these are all some really good tips i think im going to start working on my fiances bob as soon as i get the funding (in between jobs) and as far as the stress goes it has helped feel alot better knowing that so many of you are willing to listen to and give me advice especially seeing as I dont trust anyone who knows me personally to talk about these things with them

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One thing we've been able to do, to "help" encourage preparation, is to invite those "disinterested" parties camping. Simple tent camping. Assign THEM to bring certain commodities like popcorn, and inevitably, they will show up with microwave popcorn. We've seen it happen regularly, no joke. That can be an excellent "teaching moment". Also, have them carry the water literally and ration it's use in camp.

And what OC said. It IS the little things that will get you killed, and controlled crash and burn exercises, masquerading as simple camping can be a great teacher, IF, they are teachable..If not, give them a couple of large sticks to bang together to kick the lions, tiger and bears at bay!

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Navy, I thought of you when reading the post. If anyone can sympathize, it’s you!

 

ZM, you can lead a horse to water… If they don’t want to join you, move along. Sooner or later they will wake up and join you. Just keep prepping yourself and hopefully they will awaken before it’s too late.

 

I have the same problems with my family. My brother knows it’s coming but wants to go out fighting. And personally, I don’t want to be one of the ones he’s fighting. My sisters all say they are coming to my house. But what can I do? Kick my sisters out? So I am storing as many supplies as I can. Luckily we live near lakes so water is not that big of a problem.

 

OMG Ex, im sry :P

Are they at least helping with a few bucks for more food or whatnots ?

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Get them to talking and see where they go. Some times people will surprise you. If they are a little spooky about the whole TEOTWAWKI then bring up the Zombi Apocalypses practice that the CDC and Fema are using to practice the emergency response practices. Lead the conversation to what THEY think you would need if the Zombis were coming. If you live in a coastal region you can talk Katrina and the big west coast quakes.

 

If all else fails and they show up and are nothing but trouble they can always have an unfortunate accident or be invited to leave... I know that is cold but some people are going to be so anti-survival that they will either go or kill the entire group.

 

I have a first cousin like that. I swear that if he was about to drive off a cliff and you yelled "STOP!!" he would have to debate the issue with you for ten minutes. He will only eat certain specific brand name foods and considers walking from an parking place other than the closest spots to be equal to the Boston Marathon. He is an absolute hazard with even a pointy stick and would likely shoot himself or ME if I was dumb enough to let him have a gun. He is utterly lazy, totally stupid and would be a constant cause of strife in the group... He would also be accident prone I assure you.

 

Do your best and then deal with the reality when and if you have to. Survival is not always a pretty thing...but the survivors will be the ones to repopulate after things smooth out and the dead will just feed the worms...

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ZM1995,

 

You are certainly making a valiant effort to help them out, even if it seems hopeless. I liken getting others on board with "prepping" with trying to change our own bad habits. Some are already on board, others may not wish to be out of either ignorance or complacency. To be honest it took some work to get my wife on board. However after one close call during tornado season was all it took. I have been working on getting a few dear friends/co-workers on board with very little success. At least the attempt was made.

 

I agree that the best step forward is to make sure that you're at a high comfort level first then help others. The similarity to the airplane oxygen mask is priceless. I would say keep doing what your doing and best of luck.

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I guess i need to blunt here. We all love our families and want to do whats best. I have had several conversations with loved ones. Some are part of what i call our core team. Some are part timers and the rest are observers. You first priority is to the core team. It works, plans and preps together. These are the people that you are willing to put your life on the line for and put your life in their hands. All planning and preps are known to and coordinated with each of the team members.

The part timers do some minor preps but are not willing to explore anything beyond a 72 hour natural disaster. They may have skill sets that could help but they have not committed to the idea that 72 hours may only be the beginning.

The observers will not ever prep.

 

You have to address which people are assets and which are liabilities. Then you have to decide what risks your core team is willing to take. I know this may seem cruel. But teotwawki will be more cruel. I prep for the worst and pray for the best. And i hope i never have to make the hard decisions that such an event would force upon all of us.

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Well I had a talk with my fiance this weekend about this sort of thing I didnt go all out and completely discuss it with her like I should but what I did was while we were watching a movie wcich was a sort of post apococalyptic type I asked her if she could ever leave her family members behind and just come with me if an apocolypse ever happened and she told me that she would have no problem leaving her parents behind (after i explained to her how their fighting was a security threat) but their was no way we could leave her siblings behind so I guess I am pretty much stuck trying to find a way too toughen up her sisters but the plus is her brother I got to take them all out shooting and both my fiance and her sister were pretty good shooting a 22 and her brother was very willing to learn proper gun safety and how to maintain both a 22 and a 12 guage and he was a pretty good shot himself so now i just have to get my fiance interested in shooting bigger than the 22 (she absolutley refused to shoot the 12). Another thing she was interested in was my ghb so I took out all of the occupants and explained to her the uses for each thing and this week Im going to start working on building her one seeing as how Ive got enough stuff layin around the house to build it for her. but back to the post like many of you have said i actually plan on taking them all on a camping trip this summer ive already got her parents on board so if i can keep them all entertained with my teachings I might not have to worry about all of this for much longer.

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ZM.. sounds good..

take them camping,assign them TASK..see how they do..be ready to help and encougage..

 

good job..

Matt,

good suggestion. I'd add that they should be assigned a task that will inconvenience them if undone or not done correctly. Gathering firewood, setting up tents, prepping food, starting the campfire (this takes supervision so you don't burn down the forest) and so forth. Did not prep the food? We, all of us, don't eat. Did not set up the tents, sleep outside. If they helped pack, don't bring the spares for what they forgot. In the tall and uncut, sloppy and incomplete work has consequences. They need to learn that as well.

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Matt,

good suggestion. I'd add that they should be assigned a task that will inconvenience them if undone or not done correctly. Gathering firewood, setting up tents, prepping food, starting the campfire (this takes supervision so you don't burn down the forest) and so forth. Did not prep the food? We, all of us, don't eat. Did not set up the tents, sleep outside. If they helped pack, don't bring the spares for what they forgot. In the tall and uncut, sloppy and incomplete work has consequences. They need to learn that as well.

I agree,and,on the flip side you will also learn what is not "essential"and that yes you can survive without batteries and be ok

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eenie meenie miney mo ..this one stays this one goes....decisions decisions.. i feel for you, but watch the twilight zone, the bomb shelter... once you are set, beware of those who arent..imho

Bob,

one of the best and worst (for my mental well being) of the Twilight Zone episodes.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0734676/

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Yx-ifLHm2c

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TghYXxm3wq8

 

In 1961 it was my first real clue about sheeple.

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