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zombiekiller

Give me one good reason?

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here i sit, up late again struggling with the ongoing debate. should i send my daughter to public school or home school her? we have one public school option in our area and private schools are just too expensive. i am terrified that if something were to happen i could not get to her in time at a public school, also the government as well as many other people are libel to tell her things to make her question the way we have raised her, to be self-reliant and self-aware. it wasnt so long ago i was in public school i remember being really bored waiting on other children to catch on to the lesson id already learned, getting into trouble due to boredom, as far as socializing with other kids im sure theres brownie scouts or something to keep her engaged right? shes excited and ready to go. especially around the school are a lot of government housing projects where a fair share of the communitys problems arise, i dont see why the children of these hoodlums would be any different. monkey see monkey do and such. then the thought occurs that i may just be a very over protective mama. so tell me. what are the pros and cons of homeschool? of public school? any advice on either side is very much appriciated and helpful. i want to do what is best and safest for her. but i cannot help but think that the majority of typical americans are blind and trust the government too much, blind to what is really going on in the world. so, give me one good reason to put my 5 year old daughter out into the public school system alone?

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I got a great education going through public schools, and am disappointed at how disparaging people are of public schools in general. It's disheartening to think that you would deny other children your daughter's good example (and the good example of your involved parenting, for that matter) simply because you dislike what you assume their parents are like; your presence as a parent volunteer, etc., could actually be incredibly beneficial to the kids in general. You say that the school is near housing projects but you don't give much information about the way the school is ranked by the state in terms of test scores, the local high school in terms of graduation rates and percent who attend college, etc. It might be worthwhile to gather some hard facts and even go in to talk to the principal or find local parents and ask about the curriculum, teachers, teaching philosophy, and so forth.

 

Giving your daughter a safe environment to interact with and learn about people who have different social, political, and religious backgrounds than you and your family will prepare her for the rest of her life, since these will be the people she encounters at work, at college, etc. Most kids truly do learn the most and the best from their families and the example set by their own parents (unless their parents' example is so bad as to be an obvious cautionary tale), so remember that the values you instill in your daughter won't desert her simply because she's around a diverse group of kids her age. And while you understandably want to shield her from every possible ill, the "bad" stuff she hears about in school can actually become the foundation of great teaching opportunities for you as you talk to her about why using bad language isn't appropriate, or why doing X is a bad choice.

 

Here's a great pro/con list for public schools vs. home schooling that seems well thought out and even handed:

http://www.educationbug.org/a/public-school-vs-home-school.html

 

Here are great comments from parents who made thoughtful decisions:

http://www.morethanmoney.org/articles.php?article=Public_Private_or_Home_School_454

 

And here's an interesting article by a mother with very strong faith who decided to send her kids to public school:

http://wearethatfamily.com/2010/09/why-we-choose-public-school-for-now/

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I agree with everything Oregonchick says above. She speaks much more eloquently on the subject, too. The biggest problem that public schools have is not the education that they provide, but the 99% of parents who send their children to school and say 'There, I've done my part to educate my child'. They later discover that their kid doesn't share their same values about things, and they don't "know" the same things the parents know. This upsets them, so they shout about the poor education system, and the lousy teachers, and anything else they can think of to blame - except themselves.

 

The best possible way to make sure your kid gets a solid education AND a good set of values is to spend time with them, being directly involved every day with their school work and social life. That might sound like an endorsement for home schooling, but its not. No matter how good your home schooling plan might be, you don't have the resources a public school has available. For example, consider the lab equipment needed to study sciences like chemistry and physics. There are outstanding teachers in the system that know more about their chosen subject than you can ever hope to, especially since they stay current with ongoing education. Most importantly, though, home schooling cannot provide the same environment for social development. If you raise your kid without the chance to learn about large group dynamics, then your kid will be at a disadvantage later in life, when they have to live and work among large groups of people. And unless you plan to have her live on a small island somewhere, or join a convent, she is going to have to work and socialize with groups of people. She will learn the painful lessons that come with interacting with peers. She can do it while she's young and has you to guide her and support her, or she can do it later as an adult (when the stakes will be much higher, and you may not be around).

 

If you aren't willing or able to spend at least an hour or two every school day with your kid, while they attend public school, then how can you possibly hope to home school them adequately? If you can't find the time to make sure they are learning the right things in public school, you will never find the time to protect them from the things they will learn from television, movies, books, and other people's children (be they kids or adults themselves).

 

I speak from bitter experience. I did not set aside time to spend with my kids while they went to school. I shrugged it off as my wife's job, figuring it was my job to teach them the 'important stuff' like how to drive a car, how to shoot a gun, how to fix a leaky sink. I was too busy with working two jobs, too busy with trying to enjoy my one day off a week, too busy to go to parent-teacher conferences. I made poor choices, and it is reflected in the way my kids turned out. It is not the fault of the public education system, in any way. It is my fault, for not making time with my kids a top priority, for not sitting down every day and saying 'How was school today? What did you learn in history class? Are those girls still teasing you about your clothes?' and more. Don't make the same mistakes I did, please. Take advantage of the public school systems resources, but be part of your kids daily education.

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The above statements are True about the Need to be IN your Childs education...

Only 40% of teachers give a shit after 5 years because they are tired of fighting the system they know is wrong!!

 

My X is a teacher(second generation),I paid off her loans,paid for her Masters in Reading,She is a perfect teacher who cares and constantley is upset that the children DONT HAVE PARENTS that help at home!!!

 

There is only so much they can do!!

Here is what they face everyday..

In the early 70s she was FORCED to take"Sensitivity Training" and to be aware of the need to except the "homosexual" view point!It was BLANENT!!being that she was brought up in a passive church(The Church Of The Breathern,much like the Ammish roots)she was amaxed!!

I took the test.It did not go well when I called the local school and asked "What The Shit"I called the second time and asked why are you spending money on this when the kids DONT have enough paper or penciles!!

I was told privateley to be quiet or she could lose her JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thats 30 pluss years ago..

 

"Sensitivity Training is a form of training that claims to make people more aware of their own prejudices, and more sensitive to others. According to its critics, it involves the use of psychological techniques with groups that its critics, e.g. G. Edward Griffin, claim are often identical to brainwashing tactics. Critics believe these techniques are unethical."

 

So be advised that its a up hill battle!!

JMO and it aint humble,because Bull Shit is still bullshit no matter what kind of Perfume you put on it!!

Edited by 101matt
Cant spell for shit!!

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An only slightly different point of view: My wife is a H.S. teacher at an above average public school, however, we would not have sent our daughter there...too many parents that suck and too many tenured teachers that are too hard to fire. The wife is a dept head, so I've heard lot's of stories.

 

Regardless of where you put your child, the majority of the parents, will be worthless. As SurvivalCyclist mentioned, most parents think it is up to the government (public schools) to educate our kids. Your child will indirectly suffer from that because "worthlessness" is a learned behavior...the kids that your child will socialize with, will usually learn to be worthless too. If the child is stuck in an "urban school" count on having many more layers of PC BS. Most public schools TALK about teaching critical thinking, but what they really teach is indoctrination. With any public education, you will need to do some deprogramming. They will be force fed environmental BS. (a good book to get: "Facts, Not Fear...", don't recall the rest of the title). They will not be taught true American history; only the PC, revisionist history that the progressives that run this country's education system WANT our history to be. They will learn tolerance for all things perverted, and be quieted if they broach the subject of Christianity. Of course, any other religions such as Islam, or even paganism will be celebrated and pitched as diversity.

 

just gleaned today:

http://dailycaller.com/2012/05/13/public-school-prison-for-patriots/

 

OC mentioned public schools as a "safe environment". I'm sure that some are reasonably safe. Those schools have the more active parents and better teachers. I would not characterize most public schools as safe .

 

My daughter did attend a public school, BUT it was extremely unique. My wife and I were very fortunate to be able to build a home in that school district. There are FEW public schools that my daughter would have attended

Edited by MikeE

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Public schools do give a better social education and life skills about working with and learning about other people, cultures, genders, .....

 

In many ways it is similar to people saying that in college the more difficult class was Math 100 vs. Math 400 b/c the 100 level class had 300 people vs. the 15 in 400 level class. It was sink or swim - learn on your own and grow up quick. To me that is what home school does not provide unless your kids go to someone elses home. Just IMHO....

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Guest survival101
Public schools do give a better social education and life skills about working with and learning about other people, cultures, genders, .....

 

True 'dat BamaMan. For MOST people. You learn who to trust and who not to, usually the hard way. You learn who is safe to be yourself with, and who is hurtful. You learn a lot of bad words, and unless you are beautiful and have all the social graces, you take an emotional beating before you learn the ropes. The education is moderate at best.

 

I went to public and private school and private school was worse. I was taught that home schooling was for weirdos and freaks who were overprotective of their kids.

Then I grew up.

 

Now homeschooling is more mainstream. Plenty of intelligent, capable an well-meaning parents homeschool their kids. There are now homeschool groups you can join to do specialized classes in a group setting or social activities. This helps in overcoming the "socialization objection."

 

Why should you homeschool? Do it if you know you can teach. The time with your child will be invaluable, both as a legacy to her, and a commitment to her success. The things I knew well enough to teach at home and do little projects about in my child's life, kept us both busy and happy, and wound up ultimately directing her life's work. What more could you want, as a parent? We didn't homeschool her, but we felt it was our business to teach her every day, whenever we could. Why not capitalize on that.

 

You also have the advantage of not having her in "lockdown" if there is a crisis, or exposed to school shootings, which are now more commonplace than anyone could ever have expected.

Good Luck.

Edited by survival101

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Ok, guys, another point of view. A lot depends on which school district. In an age of PC nonsense and 'Zero Tolerance' picking the wrong school can be a disaster and a lifetime of heartache. We move our daughter from a small Catholic High School in Az to a large HS in Texas. Because she was late to class twice in one week she was placed in ' IN SCHOOL DETENTION'. Being somewhat naive I hoped it would shake her up a little and she'd really get started with her studies. She is quite smart (IQ of around 135) and could do great work, when she wanted to. Long and short of it is that she dropped out, ran away from home, got hooked up in drugs, satanic crap, theft, assault and a few other such 'benefits' of modern society (and this was 2 decades ago). I now have a grandson with adoptive parents. We did get her back and to school but it took 5 years of heartache and work.

 

I strongly encourage home schooling. If you are interested at all, find the local homeschooling group and see what is available. 'Home Schooling' does not involve just you and your kids alone in the house. It means a group of home schoolers working together for things like PE and special courses (my son has taught groups on astronomy, navigation, photography and music). There is a reason that homeschoolers are not welcome at places like the national spelling bee; they usually win it! My grandkids are either home schooled or private schooled. All are doing well and the seniors are accepted to state universities.

 

I lost faith in the government schools when the teachers became 'educators'. My somewhat biased opinion is that MOST government schools are places of indoctrination rather than education.

 

Check out your local government schools and the home school organization(s) in your area. It may be tough but stepping between your daughter, who is about to assault a police officer, and the shotgun pointed at her is harder.

 

My experience may not be typical but I've heard similar stories from way too many other parents.

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I think that public school is where you learn SOME of life's necessary lessons but if you depend on them to educate your child you may be in for a shock. The school my daughter went to didn't believe in spelling because it was too inhibiting to their expressiveness and since some were better at it than others id was damaging to the ego of those that didn't want to bother with it. They also felt like cursive writing was bad because once again some were better at it than others and those with poor writing skills (usually from not being willing to practice) were placed in embarrassing situations.

 

The thing was that my wife and I were MASSIVELY involved in her education and WE insisted that she know tne difference between Their, there and they're and use the correct one. I also made her bring me her home work every day and after I told her that it HAD to be in cursive I would tear it up if it wasn't. She was in the fricking 7th grade!!!

 

We live near a town with a rather large university (17 to 20 thousand kiddos) and I went to talk to a few professors. They told me that kids from our school district needed to start their collegiate career at a Junior college rather then starting there because THEY insist on spelling and such so kids from here have hell until they learn the things that they SHOULD have learned in public school.

 

I personally think that she got the best of all worlds by going to public schools. We worked with her and so she got a good education. More important she learned at an early age that there are bad people out there and that you can't trust everyone. She learned that other people think and see things differently and how to deal with that. She had an eclectic group of friends racially and ethnicly so has been able to work well with nearly anyone in her chosen profession.

 

If you are thinking about making the commitment to home school your child then you will probably be willing to put in the time to help her at home. I taught her geography, math, geometry, history and science and my wife did the English, Writing, Spelling and literature things. We always had a map up and any time something was going on in the world that was in the news that was the map we had up.

 

We ALL read and she and I shared a lot of books over the years. She and I both liked John Grisham and, LOL, Archie Comics. We also did the Anne Rice books and such. We played dominoes to help her learn her adding and stuff when she was little and turned learning her multiplication tables into a family game. She graduated with a degree for teaching with a coaching/kinesiology degree and a math minor. It was a BS not a BA degree.

 

School isn't as safe as home but then the world isn't as safe as home either. It is better that your kid learn the hard lessons young than have to learn them later when the problem is a lot worse. In elementary school you get your butt kicked if you don't learn how to get along and avoid trouble. In high-school someone might stick a shank in you! Bad people in elementary school might lead you astray and get you paddles or at worse expelled for a few days. Later it might be a police record that will be with you forever.

 

It's a tough world out there some times and to me educating your kids at home and then when they are 18 throwing them out in the world is cruel. I've seen it again and again where kids that were over protected went off to college and came home a year or two later just CHEWED UP! They never had the pressures of peer pressure to deal with like they would have in public schools. It's like dumping a house dog in the woods thinking he will hunt and fend for himself.

 

I had a friend that was raised in an area that had NO minorities. He had never even spoken to a black person until he was 16 or so. When he entered the job market it was RUGGED! He would say Nigger and the next thing you know he was in trouble. He couldn't reconcile them with the stuff he had been taught in his little closed society. He lost several jobs because he couldn't get along. Eventually he got to know a few and realized that he had to throw out most of what he thought he knew. He learned to judge people individually and that there were good and bad ones in all colors. He actually became a good man and when he had kids he made SURE that they were NOT taught the things he was taught and were NOT raised in Klan City Texas. (Vidor for the Texans out there that may have heard of it. I always called it Snuff Gully.)

Edited by Danm

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thank you all for sharing your experiences and opinions with me. I notice that a big gripe was parents not spending time with their children. I've taught her the abcs, 123s, to sight read small words, simple addition and subtraction, colors, shapes, opposites, patterns, basically everything a kindergartener should know to enter. Along with that, I've taught her to plant seeds, firearm safety, simple knots, how to pack for a camping trip, how to bait a hook, things that will help her in everyday country life. Just because she would be in a public school does not mean my lessons on everything from algebra to what native plants are edible would stop. I looked at the public school in question. It looked very dirty and out of date, every wall was painted a random primary color and looney toons were badly drawn everywhere. There was a thick layer of greenish dirt and grit on all of the outside surfaces. It was explained to me that she would spend her day locked in one classroom or another and always accompanied by a teacher or two, or at recess. When I asked about emergency procedure, the lady looked at me as if i had two heads. Maybe i am an over protective mommy. Deep in the middle of me i am still scared that if i let her go to a public school i wont be doing whats best for her. I would hate for my daughter to stay as bored as i did in school simply because she knows the material but the teacher cannot move on to something new. There are many programs availible to "socialize" her, martial arts, dance, brownies, homeschool groups, and lots of local state parks.

Edited by zombiekiller

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I graduated in '86 from a small private school outside of Memphis,TN. Small town, two schools, one private, one public. Had a friend in the public school who told me about the fights,stabbings,rapes, robberies etc in her school. Never saw it for myself, but did see police cars and ambulances on that campus a lot.

I became a step daddy in 2007 and my girl was in a public school. She developed a brain tumor (she's stable now) and fell behind. The school would not help at all. The county sent a "teacher" to home school her. My guess is that the woman just burned out. We started home schooling her ourselves until she recovered well enough to go back. We found a private, Christian school that is great. More expensive than I'd like, but i'll work the OT when I can. They take their time to help her and I help her with geometry and history when she needs it. She didn't make the softball team thanks to three years of physical hell on her body, but recently decided she might like to try golf again so she's taking golf lessons in hope of making the golf team in the spring. If you ever told me that my wife's ex-husband would become one of my best friends I'd have called you a liar, but we've all come together to do what it takes. If the public schools in your area are better than that, I'd give em a chance but follow up with more life lessons and ACTUAL history at home. Check her homework, quiz her on her subjects until she scream's "I hate you!", keep her mind active and teach her what's real, what's expected by the world and the difference between the two.

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here i sit, up late again struggling with the ongoing debate. should i send my daughter to public school or home school her? we have one public school option in our area and private schools are just too expensive. i am terrified that if something were to happen i could not get to her in time at a public school, also the government as well as many other people are libel to tell her things to make her question the way we have raised her, to be self-reliant and self-aware. it wasnt so long ago i was in public school i remember being really bored waiting on other children to catch on to the lesson id already learned, getting into trouble due to boredom, as far as socializing with other kids im sure theres brownie scouts or something to keep her engaged right? shes excited and ready to go. especially around the school are a lot of government housing projects where a fair share of the communitys problems arise, i dont see why the children of these hoodlums would be any different. monkey see monkey do and such. then the thought occurs that i may just be a very over protective mama. so tell me. what are the pros and cons of homeschool? of public school? any advice on either side is very much appriciated and helpful. i want to do what is best and safest for her. but i cannot help but think that the majority of typical americans are blind and trust the government too much, blind to what is really going on in the world. so, give me one good reason to put my 5 year old daughter out into the public school system alone?

 

in my estimation the pro's far outwieght the cons with home schooling and its nothing but con's for public schools even given the socializing aspect of it...

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