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550cordfreak

Basic Car Stuff

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[Please Don't replace this under BOV. This is about any car]

{Disclaimer: Some techniques are illegal or damaging to a car and are only to be used in dire emergencies. I take no legal, medical, or any other type of responsibility for these techniques.}

 

1. Changing tires.

Changing a flat tire on a car is a basic job that takes about 30 minutes tops. However, not all cars are the same and thus, have different procedures. One should refer to the owners manual for instructions. However, I leave you with two pieces of important advice. First, know were your spare is. This sounds stupid but this can range from extremely easy, with a jeep or land rover, to extremely dificult on a Honda Oddesey, were the spare is located in the rear left wall console. Second is buy an industrial jack. The crap ones that come in your car have a really small base and are prone to falling. Each year, dozens are crushed to death by a falling jack... so go buy a good one.

 

2. Starting W/out a key.

Hotwiring is NOT easy, safe, practical, quick, quiet, nor legal... so avoid doing it! All cars have different security, and its not as easy as crossing the two red wires. Generaly, you'll want to connect the ignition to the battery line... and avoid the horn! If your starting an older car, shove a flat head screw driver into the ignition, and tap it with a hammer, mallet, or shoe, until its all the way in. Then twist like a key. Two probs. though, 1, this leaves the ignition permanantly broken and 2, it doesnt work on new cars with micro chips in the key. To disengage a steering lock, place a flat head behind wheel and in front of column and pull like a crowbar untill it clicks.

 

3. Syphoning Gas.

This can be done with a water house or any other tube. Now another choice, siphon from the place you put gas in at a gas station, or directly from the fuel tank. Place one end into fuel line, then suck on the other end of the tube to create pressure. Avoid drinking the gas for obvious reasons. Soon the gas will come spewing drom the tube. One tip, buy a siphon pump from an auto store. It keeps gas from going in contact with your mouth and can help when you run out on a freeway and a friend comes to the "rescue".

 

4. Quick Repairs.

1: Overheated radiators should not be touched for atleast ten minutes, unless you like getting sprayed by SCALDING hot water. Leaky hoses repaired by duct tape will hold for weeks. Leaky radiators can be repaired by putting raw eggs inside the radiator after it is refilled with the engine running.

2: Squeaky fan belts can be repaired by holding a bar of soap to the outer edges of the belt while running the engine.

3: Broken Alternator belts can be repaired by twisting pantyhose and tying them as tight as possible.

4: Headlights that are left on all night should be turned off immediatly. Let the engine recuperate for about15 mins. This might be enough for the battery to start the car

5: Craks in the winsheild sould be filled with super glue. If you do not have super glue, drill a hole all the way through, at the end of the crack to keep it from spreading.

6: Rusted nuts can be easily removed by dousing them in coke.

 

5. DO NOT TOUCH THESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1: Electric/Hybrid cars, the voltage will roast you alive!

2: Cataclytic Converters, their FLAMMING HOT AND POISONOUS.

3: Leaky/Broken Batteries, Acid, Lead, and Explosive Hydrogen, all in one little box

 

6. Manifold Cooking.

As long as you have a car with fuel, you have a sure fire (no pun intended) way to cook food. Simply place bundles of WRAPPED (keyword: wrapped) food on the exuast manifold coming from the cylanders to the tailpipe, wait for dessired cooking time and violla! Redneck cooking in no time. (No offense to Southern residents, I was born and raised in the deep south). And the best part is, no pots or pans nessacary.

 

Well hope you guys enjoy and learned something. I'd like to say a lot of this is from James Shepperd-Barron's book. Please leave more tips, tricks, comments, or even corrections.

Edited by 550cordfreak
Grammer & Finishing Touches

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(No offense to Southern residents, I was born and raised in the deep south)

 

Hey none taken. Besides i have found rednecks coast to coast, border to border. We are just one big family here. thanks for the auto tricks. I think its important that every driver know how to change a tire, change bulbs and check fluids.

 

and while your dumping the "crap" jack go buy a four way lug wrench.

Edited by awake

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1. Changing tires.

Changing a flat tire on a car is a basic job that takes about 30 minutes tops. However, not all cars are the same and thus, have different procedures. One should refer to the owners manual for instructions. However, I leave you with two pieces of important advice. First, know were your spare is. This sounds stupid but this can range from extremely easy, with a jeep or land rover, to extremely dificult on a Honda Oddesey, were the spare is located in the rear left wall console. Second is buy an industrial jack. The crap ones that come in your car have a really small base and are prone to falling. Each year, dozens are crushed to death by a falling jack... so go buy a good one.

 

 

A useful trick we do is to take out the spare, break the nuts on the flat and jack the vehicle up till we can slide the spare under the castle rails. We remove the flat and swap it with the spare. This way if the jack fails, the tyre/rim can offer some protection by propping up the vehicle. Also a good idea whenever you're doing any work under the vehicle.

 

B.R.

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Thanks for the positive feedback. Just good to know im helping

@praetorious: thanks for the tip!

I'm gonna try that manifold cooking to heat up my lunch sometime..would it work for jiffypop popcorn?

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I'm gonna try that manifold cooking to heat up my lunch sometime..would it work for jiffypop popcorn?

 

If I'm not mistaken, GI's used to put the popcorn kernels in their helmets, place them on the exhaust manifold and close the lid to get popcorn. Don't know if it will work with your brand of popcorn, but give it a try.

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If I'm not mistaken, GI's used to put the popcorn kernels in their helmets, place them on the exhaust manifold and close the lid to get popcorn. Don't know if it will work with your brand of popcorn, but give it a try.

Good thing he has a G.I. helmet lying around....

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Will my kevlar brain bucket work???

Cooking on the manifold, done it many times while I was driving truck, make sure to open the can, very loud and messy if you don't. Syphoning gas, shove the hose into the tank, blow and hopefully you will hear bubbling. Take a rag and plug the fill pipe around the hose, blow hard (creates pressure), no need to suck gas...

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Will my kevlar brain bucket work???

Cooking on the manifold, done it many times while I was driving truck, make sure to open the can, very loud and messy if you don't. Syphoning gas, shove the hose into the tank, blow and hopefully you will hear bubbling. Take a rag and plug the fill pipe around the hose, blow hard (creates pressure), no need to suck gas...

 

I wouldn't do it. Though kevlar has a low flammability I still think it can char. I'd stick to a pot or metal bowl.

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