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P210SIG

JOKE of the day. A place to make one SMILE/LAUGH/Shake their heads.

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SAD BUT TRUE..

felon incarcerated in Texas took one in three votes away from President Obama in West Virginia's Democratic presidential primary on Tuesday.

 

Keith Judd, who is serving time in a federal prison in Texarkana, Texas, for extortion, took 37 percent of the vote, with 50 percent of precincts reporting. Obama captured the remaining 63 percent.

 

By locking up more than 15 percent, Judd may be entitled to at least one delegate at the Democratic National Convention in September...

 

 

Dont you just LOVE WestVirginia....

LMFAO

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Need to repeat this for all his campaign speeches -

I used to avoid listening to Obama's speeches. Now, I look forward to the next one (not really).

Here is something to help make Obama's speeches almost tolerable. Just print this page, distribute it to friends, then tune in to his next speech.

 

 

 

 

 

Rules for Bullshit Bingo: 1. Before Barrack Obama's next televised speech, print your "Bullshit Bingo".

2. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases. 3. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!"

post-26-13851498032373_thumb.jpg

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Need to repeat this for all his campaign speeches -

I used to avoid listening to Obama's speeches. Now, I look forward to the next one (not really).

Here is something to help make Obama's speeches almost tolerable. Just print this page, distribute it to friends, then tune in to his next speech.

 

 

 

 

 

Rules for Bullshit Bingo: 1. Before Barrack Obama's next televised speech, print your "Bullshit Bingo".

2. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases. 3. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!"

Looks like a good drinking game too lol....

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Need to repeat this for all his campaign speeches -

I used to avoid listening to Obama's speeches. Now, I look forward to the next one (not really).

Here is something to help make Obama's speeches almost tolerable. Just print this page, distribute it to friends, then tune in to his next speech.

 

 

 

 

 

Rules for Bullshit Bingo: 1. Before Barrack Obama's next televised speech, print your "Bullshit Bingo".

2. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases. 3. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!"

 

I'm LMAO .

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A lady is walking down the street to work and sees a parrot in a pet store. She stops to admire the bird. The parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! She storms past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot upon seeing her says, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." She was incredibly ticked now. The next day on the way to work she saw the same parrot and once again it said, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so furious that she stormed into the store and threatened to sue the store and have the bird killed. The store manager apologized profusely and promised the bird wouldn't say it again. The next day, when the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, "Hey lady." She paused, scowled with an icy and deadly stare, and said with a hoarse voice, "Yes?" The bird, strutting back and forth on its perch in a cocky manner, said, "You know."

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I told you. You can not trust a cat or a parrot. Cat + Parrot = Woman. LOL

 

I hope that no one really thinks that I believe some of what I write. (legal disclaimer, my wife just saw this post)

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A man walking down a busy street saw a pet store and saw a beautiful parrot it danced and sang

and knew hundreds of words but there was a sign sale 50% off so he bought it.

 

After getting it home he knew why the parrot was on sale he was the horniest thing he ever saw

he jumped the cats the dogs guinea pigs and the final straw he was trying to hump the pet turtle.

 

The man decided to put him out side on a tether well he cut it with his beak and started going after

the goats and the chickens even the rooster was scared of the parrot.

 

one day as he drove in he saw the parrot lying on the ground obviously dead he thought you crazy

parrot you finally did it you screwed yourself to death he went over to pick him up and bury him

as he leaned over the parrots eyes opened and he winked at him and with one claw pointed up.

the man looked up and a buzzard was circling he looked back at the parrot he put his claw to his beak

and said shushhhhhhhh!

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a lady gets a parrot and the parrot cusses up a blue streak. she gets poed and tosses the parrot in the freezer to cool down. when she takes the parrot out, its cold and shivering.

that will teach you to mind your foul mouth, the lady says.

i gotta ask, the parrot says to her. just what in the hell did that turkey say to you to p you off????

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A guy inherits a really nice pocket watch from his grandfather but when he winds it up it goes "tic, tic, tic" and does not keep proper time. The guy lives in New York so he goes looking for a watch repair shop. Off Times Square he comes across a sign that says they specialize in watch repairs and has an arrow pointing down.

 

The fellow goes down old steel stairs below the sidwalk level and opens a door with a bell on it. The place is dim and a little smokey. He goes up to the counter and this older, hunched over gentlemen wearing spectacles and one of those green visor caps comes out of the back room and says "Yah, how canz I helpz you?"

 

The fellow explains his problem and asks if it can be fixed. The older guy holds out a gnarled old hand and says "Yah, I fixz." He takes the valuable old pocket watch into the back room and closes the door. Suddenly the guy sees bright lights go on from beneath the door and a loud pounding sound starts. "Oh my God, this guy is going to destroy my grandfather's watch!" he thinks. Just when he is getting ready to jump over the counter, the lights go out and the older gentlemen shuffles out of the back room and hands the watch back to the fellow.

 

The guy looks at the watch and it is going "tic-toc, tic-toc, tic-toc" and keeping perfect time! He says "How did you do that?"

 

The old German watch repairman says "Ve have wayz to make them toc."

Edited by Rod

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