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P210SIG

JOKE of the day. A place to make one SMILE/LAUGH/Shake their heads.

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laugh for the day, i guess you all are old enough to receive this.

 

 

 

 

Simple truth 1

 

 

lovers help each other undress before sex.

 

 

However after sex, they always dress on their own.

 

 

Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.

 

 

Simple truth 2

 

 

when a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say,

 

"congrats".

 

 

But, none of them come and touch the man's penis and say, "good job".

 

 

Moral of the story: "hard work is never appreciated."

 

 

 

five rules to remember in life

 

 

1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a

 

corvette than on a bicycle.

 

 

2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the ass-hole's name.

 

 

3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you

 

when they're in trouble again.

 

 

4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.

 

 

5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.

 

 

Bonus: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex.

 

A friend of mine was wearing one, when he was shot by the woman's

 

husband.

those 5 simple rules would be hard to beat!

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those were great rez-lol!, oh as far as congress...i dont think theyre supposed to agree on anything..the founders thought it would keep them from getting too big..and coming after us...unfortunately that's not whats happening now..

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The up armored golf cart made me spit out my coffee and the 3 strike plates duct taped to the vest was a WTF moment.

 

That whole thread was cracking me up I read the whole thing, but ya the up armored golf cart was the best.....I can see it now them driving up the down escalator with a little red beacon light on top, skidding around the corner by Victoria's secret chasing a 14 year old with a stolen pretzel from pretzel time when he bust out with his concealed RPG and firing at the golf cart, it ricochets off and blows up a sunglasses hut.........

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Teacher Arrested & Probably serves TIME

 

 

 

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.

 

He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

 

'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle."

 

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow.

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Teacher Arrested & Probably serves TIME

 

 

 

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.

 

He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

 

'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle."

 

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow.

 

It's a good thing high schoolers cant vote, this might get them behind obummer !

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Teacher Arrested & Probably serves TIME

 

 

 

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.

 

He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

 

'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle."

 

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow.

NOW THAT'S FUNNY! Ya made my day Matt!

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Subject: Will You Live to See 90?

 

 

I recently picked a new primary care doctor.

 

After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. (I just reached 70).

 

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 90?'

 

He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?'

 

'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'

 

Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued Ribs?'

 

'I said, 'Not much... My former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'

 

'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'

 

'No, I don't,' I said.

 

He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'

 

'No,' I said...

 

He looked at me and said,.. 'Then, why the hell do you want to live to 90?

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http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/

Beware the mad ninja skills of gecko45.....:confused:

 

O............K well that is strange mall of America has a male child rape problem............... by the dumpster no less, good to know.

 

and they tell us if any one acts strangely to call the BOOBIE hatch and see if some one escaped I think this person qualifies.

 

and you wonder why I am sooooo skeptical about human kind LMAO...this proves it.

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HOW TO INSTALL A SOUTHERN HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

 

1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14-16 men's work boots.

 

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo

Magazine.

 

3. Put 4 giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

 

4. Leave a note on your front door that reads:

 

 

 

Bubba,

 

 

Me and Marcel, Donnie Ray and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo and beer. ‘Be

back in an hour.

 

Don't mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman this morning and messed

him up bad.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don't think Killer took part but it was hard to tell from all the blood.

Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside. Be right back,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cooter

 

 

 

 

Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody is standing around reloading. Thomas Jefferson

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