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cowgirl1968

What to do????

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Hi all - i must say that this forum rocks :) you all have been sooo helpful that i have just now found myself not being able to answer a question i have yet. However, here is one i need some help on:

 

so, my 3 step children live in the city 40 miles from us M-Fr with their mother (we have them every weekend). In the event that SHTF what would be the best advice to give my step-daughter (17 and can drive and is on board with our prepping and wanting to know what to do) in regards to getting her and her brothers (14, 12) to us? Their mother is not on board with the whole being prepared, so i am not sure what shape their home would be in the event of anything big happening and them just staying put. Any advice?

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Almost the same situation here. Daughter, grandson, son in law. 60 miles away. I've been very

adamant about them useing the Half tank of gas rule. When the vehicles hit half tank, fill up.

As for the SHTF scenario. I've told them if there is advanced warning, Get here! If not, there

might not be any form of communication. They should be prepared also. They are, and my

son in law is very proficient in the outdoors. However, if transportation is possible, again,

get here! If you don't show up within two days, I'm coming for you. Stay home at all costs.

After the third day, you'll have to be on your own. I don't like to go into the city to start with,

and I'm sure it would be an adventure....

Edited by desert rat

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Hi all - i must say that this forum rocks :) you all have been sooo helpful that i have just now found myself not being able to answer a question i have yet. However, here is one i need some help on:

 

so, my 3 step children live in the city 40 miles from us M-Fr with their mother (we have them every weekend). In the event that SHTF what would be the best advice to give my step-daughter (17 and can drive and is on board with our prepping and wanting to know what to do) in regards to getting her and her brothers (14, 12) to us? Their mother is not on board with the whole being prepared, so i am not sure what shape their home would be in the event of anything big happening and them just staying put. Any advice?

 

I get the feeling that if a shtf situation happens you may have a new convert knocking on your door. So it may pay to prepare for the extra people now.

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I get the feeling that if a shtf situation happens you may have a new convert knocking on your door. So it may pay to prepare for the extra people now.

 

Beat me to it, but right on. This would be good, also GHB/EDC type bag for them to have in case they have to walk part of their way to your house or something.

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If you think the 'other mom' will actively discourage their prepping or prevent them from having BOBs etc on hand, I suggest getting them into some kind of hobby like camping or backpacking. They get some practical experience with hauling their own personal load of gear, they get exercise, and they can keep their 'camping gear' or 'backpacking stuff' at their place without leaving the other mom any reasonable objection. (Backpacking gives them personal gear, teaches navigation, builds endurance, and instills the desire to 'travel light' when they have to relocate.)

 

I think Desert rat's advice (above) is excellent. Have a clearly defined plan for 'when you should come here, when you should expect me to come there, and when you should realize you're on your own from now on".

 

If you can keep relations with the other mom on a cordial level, you may be able to convert her to a prepper, at least to a degree. Also, your daughter could try the the old 'school project - I have to prepare my family for a hurricane/winter storm' thing might help too. Gives the kids a reason to stock some food/water/etc on site, and again nothing that should raise red flags or trigger a knee jerk reaction.

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Hi all - i must say that this forum rocks :) you all have been sooo helpful that i have just now found myself not being able to answer a question i have yet. However, here is one i need some help on:

 

so, my 3 step children live in the city 40 miles from us M-Fr with their mother (we have them every weekend). In the event that SHTF what would be the best advice to give my step-daughter (17 and can drive and is on board with our prepping and wanting to know what to do) in regards to getting her and her brothers (14, 12) to us? Their mother is not on board with the whole being prepared, so i am not sure what shape their home would be in the event of anything big happening and them just staying put. Any advice?

 

Your prep success regarding this topic, depends GREATLY upon your 17yr old Step-Daughters INNER strength and determination. Can she recognize the NEED to regroup with you and not spend precious minutes debating "should I go or not"? Leaving her own mother behind? Does the 17yr old girl have enough control over the younger brothers to tell them to get in the car ignoring whatever their own mother might say to get them to "not worry" and "Stay with her".

 

In a true SHTF situation the daughter has to be strong enough to step up, be an unwavering LEADER and have a WILL that doesn't bend, knowing that regrouping with the preppers in the family is the right thing to do. Perhaps the mother will realize in that final moment that 'OMG.. We gotta get F* outta here' and actually come along with whatever supplies they could grab heading out the door.

 

THe daughter needs to realize the weight of the responsability on her shoulders in that situation. Much of it would actually be instinct to simply 'protect her brothers'. Is she strong enough to tell her mother to go to hell AND get the little brothers to come with her if the mother is in denial? Do the little brothers, as young as they are,know they need to come to Dad/step-mom in a panic situation like that? If so, then the decision to go with the daughter will be much easier.

 

Make sure the younger boys KNOW AND UNDERSTAND to go with their sister. Impress upon the daughter how important it is to go to ...wherever you're going' . THe mother may not be on board, but make sure she understands that there is plenty room and supplies for all the kids if something happens.

Edited by NavyVet_77

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Navyvet said pretty much exactly what I was going to say. I would also second the idea to get the kids into camping, and to have a GHB in the daughters car.

 

And if the relationship is still cordial with the kids mother, you might want to consider the idea of having her come with the kids also. This is dependant on several factors of course... is she reliable, honest, trustworthy, etc. And could you live with her without either you or your husband killing her? (figureatively speaking of course)

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"I think Desert rat's advice (above) is excellent. Have a clearly defined plan for 'when you should come here, when you should expect me to come there, and when you should realize you're on your own from now on".

 

The 17 year old will take care of the other 2.Have a bag stashed for them that she can hide at home and just tell her where a mid point is to pick them up!!

Planning is best,if at all possible leave the "other mom" there!!Im hard on that because she wont get along with what needs to be done and once she is in the mix she will "NOT LISTEN" to your husban<she has proved it all ready!!

Its about the Kids!!!do what ever is best for them !!

Your RN skills will be needed so your more important than a person who will cause trouble!!

Sorry Im a hard ass on people causing trouble in a SHTF ..

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.. And could you live with her without either you or your husband killing her? (figureatively speaking of course)

 

Figureatively speaking .... NO, it may sound harsh but she will have to be HER husbands problem not MY husbands (or mine).

 

My 17 year old daughter is a phenomenal (spelling?) young lady and trust me when i say i was in awe when she came to us and asked us what to do - you guys have given some GREAT advise and we will be incorporating pretty much all of it as we begin to develop the plan. The 14 year old is also starting to bend in this direction so he will be of assistance for her as well.

 

And 101matt - for us it is all about the kids, so the less trouble the better and adding her into the mix would be just that ... trouble, much very unneeded trouble. Not sure how high my tolerance for stupidity will be during SHTF

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And 101matt - for us it is all about the kids, so the less trouble the better and adding her into the mix would be just that ... trouble, much very unneeded trouble. Not sure how high my tolerance for stupidity will be during SHTF

 

In that moment of SHTF.. ZERO Tolerence for BS. There needs to be NO Bulishiznit. it's going to be d stressful and panic enough without that shit, no undue running-off-at-the-mouth... or in my presence, they'de simply get knock the F* out

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In that moment of SHTF.. ZERO Tolerence for BS. There needs to be NO Bulishiznit. it's going to be d stressful and panic enough without that shit, no undue running-off-at-the-mouth... or in my presence, they'de simply get knock the F* out

 

Excately!!!!

 

I also have an X,She is a wonderfull mom,gave me 2 wonderfull daughters(31,26).put up with me for 28 years.

BUT dont want her near me in a SHTF situation,"but could we do it this way,your over reacting,people are not bad its just that they dont think the same way you do"

B. S..

Sorry....its a old wound..

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The backpacking thing is a good idea, it would also be easy to just keep it packed and keep a weeks worth of freeze dried and a full 2 liter water bottle in it as well.

 

That way you just grab the bag and go...no hunting for stuff.

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The backpacking thing is a good idea, it would also be easy to just keep it packed and keep a weeks worth of freeze dried and a full 2 liter water bottle in it as well.

 

That way you just grab the bag and go...no hunting for stuff.

 

Sounds very much like a 72hour kit I've put together. THere are many other posts on this forum for how to build a good Bug-Out-Bag too. Do a little digging, you'll find some good stuff.

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I once had a very nice police officer show up at my door because I gave refuge to some kids who were fleeing a fight in their home. A friend of the mother's (I was a friend of the father's) had come over and it got, shall we say intense, and they ran to me for help.

 

I gave them shelter and notified the police. It was dicey for a while as to whether or not I was going to be arrested for kidnapping. My point is this, if it is TEOTWAWKI, no problems pretty much with any action you take. If it is TSHTF or worse, only a momentary blip, your actions could land you and your husband in plenty of legal hot water.

 

How the kids decide to GOOD and when needs to be a topic of serious discussion. There will be some risk as waiting to confirm TEOTWAWKI may not be practical. Those are topics to be discussed. The how to get to you is critically important, I agree. The When and Why to GOOD may be just as important so don't ignore those factors.

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I once had a very nice police officer show up at my door because I gave refuge to some kids who were fleeing a fight in their home. A friend of the mother's (I was a friend of the father's) had come over and it got, shall we say intense, and they ran to me for help.

 

I gave them shelter and notified the police. It was dicey for a while as to whether or not I was going to be arrested for kidnapping. My point is this, if it is TEOTWAWKI, no problems pretty much with any action you take. If it is TSHTF or worse, only a momentary blip, your actions could land you and your husband in plenty of legal hot water.

 

How the kids decide to GOOD and when needs to be a topic of serious discussion. There will be some risk as waiting to confirm TEOTWAWKI may not be practical. Those are topics to be discussed. The how to get to you is critically important, I agree. The When and Why to GOOD may be just as important so don't ignore those factors.

 

thanks Capt Bart those are things i didn't even think of! My husband doesn't like to talk to the ex (drives him crazy), but i am completely comfortable talking to her - how do you have a conversation with someone like this while also trying to tell them "sorry, this is what we would like the kids to do, but you are not invited?"

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Not to get personal, but if the 17 year old daughter is like the vast majority of 17 years olds in this country, she has a boyfriend. At her age the bond between a boy and a girl can, and quite often does, override the mother-daughter bond. Even if the mom was onboard with planning efforts, if a potential boyfriend is not part of the bug out plan then all plans and their timetables may be in jeapordy.

 

My point is, regardless if the mother is onboard or not, the daughter should work on the boyfriend. A 17 or 18 year old boy could be quite an calming asset for the 14 & 12 year old boys as the daughter takes the lead position and giudes the family to safety.

 

Just trying to present possibilties so all possible planning can be planned.

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Not to get personal, but if the 17 year old daughter is like the vast majority of 17 years olds in this country, she has a boyfriend. At her age the bond between a boy and a girl can, and quite often does, override the mother-daughter bond. Even if the mom was onboard with planning efforts, if a potential boyfriend is not part of the bug out plan then all plans and their timetables may be in jeapordy.

 

My point is, regardless if the mother is onboard or not, the daughter should work on the boyfriend. A 17 or 18 year old boy could be quite an calming asset for the 14 & 12 year old boys as the daughter takes the lead position and giudes the family to safety.

 

Just trying to present possibilties so all possible planning can be planned.

 

Fortunately for us, she is not within the realm of the vast majority of girls her age (thank you Jesus). She is actually old beyond her years and extremely level headed (so, she is not your normal teenager at all). However, i definately hear what you are saying and appreciate the input. The more scenarios thrown out there the better to prepare - right :)

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Cowgirl. i am in the same boat with daughter that is older and living 45 minutes away. we have a plan that she, her brother who lives at home, my wife and i all have copies. I will try to explain it without giving my exact plans out. each person has a number. each rally point has a color. each rally point has a time frame. so lets say that my daughter is late at the home rally point. on the door step will be spray painted " 1-2-3-blue-1600-may 1. that would tell her that dad and mom and brother have left for rally point blue at 4pm on may first. her printed plan has eta's on each rally point. each rally point leads further away from home and closer to BOL. each rally point is known to each person. each rally point has a cache for each person.

might be a little complicated but this way we can communicate with each other and not have others intercept the plan. we also have a code to abort the next rally and proceed to the next.

i believe that each family should build a plan together. with everyone's input and agreement ahead of a crisis

everyone has an increased chance at survival.

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